Through my kitchen window, I see the sun finally making an appearance through a cleft in the Wasatch. It’s bright yellow hue promises glory to this day, to the future, and warmth and light into my life. The cold of this long bitter winter, while not totally exhausted, will no longer be the focal point of my life, no longer the center of my attention. The seemingly endless monochromatic winter sky with its rare pinpricks of light is turning, thankfully, to vivid shades of blue.
Spring approaches, and I anticipate..eagerly.. the greening of the earth, the tantalizing scent of flowers and grass as day replaces night. Now, my world will return to a proper course, and life become joyful, even jubilant. I have used this winter to reflect, to analyze, and grow; but like the bear waking from hibernation, I am now hungry for new adventures, new sights, new people and the input I crave so deeply. Through movement, my muscles will overcome the aches and pains of this listless existence; through experience, my mind will stretch, expand, and absorb. Life is not perfect, as the sage states; but it certainly is improving.
This blog contains some of my personal, political, moral, and social views of our society today. All of the posts here are copyrighted, and may not be used, copied, etc. without the permission of the author. Comments are welcome! All comments must be in a family-acceptable verbiage. Feel free to share this blog with anyone that might be interested in reading and/or discussing the material I present. Thanks for visiting. R.M. "Bob" Hartman
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
I wrote this for someone special, who has been held back for far too long.
There is a feeling of peace and empowerment that has overtaken me. I know that events will unfold over which I have no control, nor do I desire such control, I know I am changing, for the better; that I will continue to change, for me. It’s time for me; it is now my time to be.
The last 2 years have been the most unusual in my life. I have learned, again, what is important and what is not. I understand now that I am the most important person in my own life, that I need to be selfish (in a strict Webster meaning) with my life. I am learning to say no. Not in anger, not in frustration, but simply no. While I continue to have concern, respect and a degree of joint responsibility to and for those around me, no one else is in control my life’s direction, or my life’s purpose, any longer. I have but a short time (in the grand scheme) to be here, and I need to place myself before all others, to accomplish my goals. And those goals are mine, chosen by me, for my benefit; they are what I need to do.
I will choose, now, to do what is best for me, what is in my overall best interest. Do not expect me to refute myself for your uses, or your benefit. Expect me instead, to do what I can that is good for me, and perhaps therefore all of us; bearing in mind that I am of value to myself, and that I will no longer deny or degrade my own value for your, or any other persons', needs, wants, or desires.
This is not a narcissistic point of view; rather it is a point of view that allows me to uphold my self as a person of good, of value, and in control of myself. I am not going to use that view to cause undue suffering, harm or hurt, but I am not afraid any longer to exercise my ability to control my life, my work, and my dreams.
In making this statement, I acknowledge and accept that you have or may make a similar statement of your own design, which I respect; as I ask you to respect my words here given. If we choose to travel together, so be it; if our paths separate, know I wish you the best in your journey, and I accept your best wishes for mine.
There is a feeling of peace and empowerment that has overtaken me. I know that events will unfold over which I have no control, nor do I desire such control, I know I am changing, for the better; that I will continue to change, for me. It’s time for me; it is now my time to be.
The last 2 years have been the most unusual in my life. I have learned, again, what is important and what is not. I understand now that I am the most important person in my own life, that I need to be selfish (in a strict Webster meaning) with my life. I am learning to say no. Not in anger, not in frustration, but simply no. While I continue to have concern, respect and a degree of joint responsibility to and for those around me, no one else is in control my life’s direction, or my life’s purpose, any longer. I have but a short time (in the grand scheme) to be here, and I need to place myself before all others, to accomplish my goals. And those goals are mine, chosen by me, for my benefit; they are what I need to do.
I will choose, now, to do what is best for me, what is in my overall best interest. Do not expect me to refute myself for your uses, or your benefit. Expect me instead, to do what I can that is good for me, and perhaps therefore all of us; bearing in mind that I am of value to myself, and that I will no longer deny or degrade my own value for your, or any other persons', needs, wants, or desires.
This is not a narcissistic point of view; rather it is a point of view that allows me to uphold my self as a person of good, of value, and in control of myself. I am not going to use that view to cause undue suffering, harm or hurt, but I am not afraid any longer to exercise my ability to control my life, my work, and my dreams.
In making this statement, I acknowledge and accept that you have or may make a similar statement of your own design, which I respect; as I ask you to respect my words here given. If we choose to travel together, so be it; if our paths separate, know I wish you the best in your journey, and I accept your best wishes for mine.
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